Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
