I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
