I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
