is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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