There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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