OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
