can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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