living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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