We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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