i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
