So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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