I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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