ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
