I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
