im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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