I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think people are normalizing furries
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize