Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
