so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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