No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Randomize
