Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
