Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will be naked everywhere
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
