And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
