Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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