Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Still dying that you shit outside
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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