Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
