do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
