THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
