WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
