sarcasm needs its own font
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
