TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
