Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize