Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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