There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Pants are for mortals
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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