Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Randomize
