I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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