Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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