My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
