Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
