I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
