also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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