Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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