question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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