is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
