I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
