at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
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I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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