Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
