Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
