I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
being pregnant is like rehab
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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