Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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