Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
