i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
