dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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