all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
