I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize