it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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