Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
