Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
