i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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