I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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