i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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