just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
