no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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