do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
