On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
