Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
