not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize